Making The Best Of Some Bad Decisions (naive Fishkeeper)

It is possible for 2 males to co-exist peacefully as long as there are no females present.
I had this with two male Bolivian rams. These fish are notoriously difficult to tell males from females so I bought the two most different ones, which still turned out to be both male. Then I found a shop that had some locally bred ones, and their breeding tubes were visible, so I bought two females. As soon as they went into the tank, the males stopped being peaceful and attacked each other - they now had something to fight over.
Cichlids and gouramis are similar in that they are both territorial fish and see others as invading their territory. But cichlids need to choose their own mates, and mate for life while gouramis don't pair up at all.

If your gouramis are two males, at present they will be deciding which is the dominant male. Honeys are at the more peaceful end of the gourami spectrum, so the dominant male may choose the 'best' part of the tank as his territory and leave the rest for the subordinate gourami. Best here means most to a gourami's taste 

It can be hard working them out sometimes.

I bought a trio of natural coloured honey gouramis a few weeks ago. I chose a definite male and two with stripes down their sides which usually indicates females. For a while they swam everywhere together. But I am now a bit worried about the male - he never coloured up properly and is now spending all his time at the surface in the corner behind the heater. To be honest, I don't think he has long left.
The two pale ones with the stripes are doing fine. But their fins look like male fins. And one has taken to chasing the other. Do I actually have another male masquerading as a female?

Red honeys can be very variable in colour. The yellow variety, which I've had in the past, never seemed to change intensity; with wild coloured ones, the male just develops a black throat when he's in the mood for building bubble nests.


About 15 years ago, I had a trio, and the wild coloured ones were the only colour back then. I got up 3 weeks later to find one of the females had changed colour and was a male.



Stick with yours and let their behaviour guide you. If one takes to bullying the other, that's when to take action. Breeding behaviour is - male swimming nose in the air in front of the female, then chasing her if she doesn't respond and nipping her tail. If you see aggression without the nose in the air posture first, that needs attention.